I heard someone say, “Expectations kill a marriage.” I agreed, but my husband disagreed. While I understand his viewpoint that a husband should expect his wife to be supportive, to be a good mother, to cook, clean, and so forth, I feel, one who’s never been married is basing their expectations of what a marriage should be on what others’ marriages have been. This is where I think many people become disappointed in their spouse. Other than expecting your spouse to fulfil the duties Allah has placed on them (like a husband providing for the family), should one have other expectations going into their marriage?
Should you expect your spouse to love you? Or only expect kindness and gentle words?
Should you expect some great friendship in the marriage? Or only expect they you can work together for the sake of the children and to keep the marriage going smoothly?
Should you expect to be appreciated and cherished? Or accept that you should do what you need to and not expect appreciation for it?
Should you expect romance and intimacy? Or accept that your spouse to may simply fulfil their duties in the bedroom without much emotion or closeness?
Should you hope for the great marriages some people speak of, or expect they will fufil their duties and just be pleasantly surprised if your spouse does more than that?
I personally believe having expectations only leads to disappointment. Then again, I’m told I have a cold heart so….. Lol. I have heard so many times of a brother who doesn’t show much emotion or doesn’t communicate well, etc. Other than for a husband to pay the bills and treat you kindly, is it wise to expect more? I would really love to hear different opinions about this. Maybe I can be persuaded to become a optimist. Lol.