So Much Going On

I haven’t written in over a month, I’ve has a lot going on (as my title lets you know lol). I moved into my new apartment. Packing and unpacking, ughh. And I’m the kind of person who has to have the whole house unpacked as soon as possible. So I was still unpacking at like 1 in the morning. Obviously I’m all unpacked now lol. My husband says I have OCD with moving furniture, so I’ve already changed the living room around about 4 or 5 times.
Then I’m trying to register my two older kids for Islamic School, so choosing one is confusing. My husband and I have different favorites.
Ramadan started off great. Reading and offering sunnahs and such, but I slowly started feeling less and less ‘spiritual’, I guess I’ll say. I was so overwhelmed with the kids and packing that I let myself become busied and lazy. The eid was ok. It rained around 1 so basically everything shut down. Hubby took me on a date that night but then, I think, the food made me really sick and I basically passed out. Nice lol.
I’m not in a new area really because all the grocery stores and stuff I’m going to now are in the town near us, where I grew up, but wearing my niqab to these stores is a new experience. One store is where a man followed my daughter and me around the store calling me a slave and rumbling on, so often when I pull into the parking lot, I remember this. But Allah protects the believers, so in Allah I put my trust.
I’m so looking forward to going to the store on Friday insha Allah and getting a good Islamic book to read. I have so many books, but either I’ve read them or I read a little and it just didn’t catch me. I can get bored with a book easily, if the first few pages don’t grab me in. I saw a Islamic self help book on amazon that I’m thinking about getting. I’ve read good reviews about it and I could use a pick me up. When I go to say barnes and nobles and look for books about being less angry (yes, I can admit I have anger issues) or things of this nature, more often that not, I flip through the pages and see multiple bible scriptures, so I put it back and leave the store discouraged.
Well, that’s what going on in my life. Probably gonna fast tomorrow insha Allah, to make up for allllllllll the days I still need to fast from years before this one. I finally got internet at the new apartment (as you can see), so I’m gonna go browse. See ya!

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2 thoughts on “So Much Going On

  1. Assalamualikum Sister,

    I recently discovered your blog, and I have to say that I am really impressed with your conviction and your strength in wearing your niqab in such a difficult time/place. I pray that Allah gives you patience and strength and that all the abuse and stares and ridicule you get because of your niqab is a source of reward for you on the Day of Judgement. Also I pray that Allah raises your rank because of the hardship you choose to go through for His sake….Ameen.
    I live in Canada, and where I live there are a lot of hijabis but not so many niqabis. I have five kids and I also wear the niqab. I have been wearing it for the last 15 years and I have experienced many of the situations that you have faced, AlhamduAllah.
    As I was reading your blog, I wanted to just share some sisterly advice that hopefully can help you, as it has helped me in wearing my niqab and dealing with uncomfortable situations.
    I feel that as a niqabi, there are some places that are not very “becoming” for us to be in. These are not places where we can feel comfortable because we now wear the niqab. Wearing the niqab actually is a change in our lifestyle. There are many places you can go and things you can do freely if you wear the hijab only. But when we wear the niqab I feel that we are restricted in doing certain things, and going to certain places, because it will only make things difficult on us and a burden on us. Wearing the niqab is going to a higher level in your Islam, so we should try to stay away from places that are disliked by Allah. I have personally cut out going to movie theaters, and I try to shop online whenever I can. And when I do things for my kids, I go an extra mile for us to have fun. I book the entire indoor playground, and invite a bunch of sisters and we all chip in. Or we go out really early in the morning(after fajr) to avoid the crowds. And lastly, I have chosen to homeschool my kids to give them the confidence and strength in practicing there Islam. This also allows us the freedom to do things during quieter times.
    Please forgive me if I have offended you in any way. I pray Allah makes it easy for all of us to do the right thing for His sake.

    • Wa alaykum salaam. No, I’m not offended at all. Good advice. May Allah reward you for it. Ameen, and ameen to all your du’a for me. I do notice some places it is more of a struggle to feel comfortable and ignore the stares. I try to force myself in these situations telling myself, I can’t let my niqab restrict me or limit me, but hearing your advice, I realize maybe that’s for the best. Maybe it’s a sign I shouldn’t be there in the first place. I’ve wanted to rent places for the kids, but unfortunately the muslim community here are so wrapped up in what masjid you attend and so forth to really come together. Allahu musta’an. Thanx for your response, it really has me thinking.

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