I Don’t Want To Be The ‘NO’ Muslim

I have a friend I knew for about 4-5 years before I got married. We were best friends, but when I became muslim, things became strained. I didn’t want to do the same things I had done before islam. I covered now. I had to pray at specific times. I had to fast. This didn’t sit well with her. She didn’t want to go places with me when I wore certain things, questioned why I became muslim in the first place, and basically wanted her old friend back. But that girl was gone now and in her place stood a muslim who didn’t want to back peddle. Then when I got married, we bascially stopped talking over night. Then when I finally did hear from her, we exchanged not so nice words. My number changed soon after and I lost my contacts when I got a new phone. I didn’t speak to her for probably about a year n a half. One day I missed her and went to her house and put a note on her car saying I had lost her number and I missed her and to call me. She immediately called and I went to her house for an hour. We had good conversation, but it was clear things would never be the same. We were on different paths.
We have been keeping in touch since then. Every now and then I try to squeeze islam into the convo. One day she said she didn’t want to become because she saw what it did to me and didn’t want that to happen to her! WHAT? Uhh u don’t wanna be close to your Lord, be married and have children, and be happy? Uhh ok. Then she said how she felt islam came between us and that the more I got into islam, the more I just looked at her as my kafr friend. So I just left it alone because I guess to her, islam took her best friend away.
So the other day I decided to finally ask again. I know some people would say just leave it alone, but I always ask myself, ‘what could it hurt?’. If she says no, then masha Allah, if she says yes, then alhamdulillah. It seemed she was a little more open to it, maybe because of where her life is right now, although why doesn’t really matter to me. But she said she’s reluctent because she does some things muslims can’t do, so I got to thinking, if she does take her shahadah, how would I handle this? I wouldn’t want to be the muslim who’s always telling her that she can’t do this and can’t do that, but at the same time I can’t let her sin and not say anything about it because 1) Allah commands us to enjoin the good and forbid the evil and 2) she would think it’s ok to do these things because I don’t warn her against them.
It’s a tough position to be in. You don’t want to make it hard for someone when they first accept islam, but at the same time, you don’t want to let them fall into sin.
Any beneficial advice would be totally appreciated on this topic.
Thanx for reading.


Messy Niqab

Last night hubby and I went to an award ceremony for people who’ve helped the muslim communities over the years. I wasn’t so much interested in that, as much as having an adult night out and hopefully good halal food. We got there and I was delighted to see bread on the table. I like bread so much I have cravings for it even when I’m not pregnant. Lol. Good thing I didn’t devour the bread at our table when I first sat down because it turned out that table was “vip”, so we had to move back a table. I would’ve felt so bad when someone sat down and had no bread because I gobbled it down. When we got to our new table, I patiently and anxiously looked around waiting to see other people eating their bread, but when the servers started handed out appetizers, I figured it was ok to eat my bread… and my husband’s bread. Hahaha. After some finger foods and the opening speech, they handed out penne pasta with some type of sauce on it. As soon as I saw the sauce, i knew my niqab had a problem. I was doing pretty good at getting the food to my mouth under my niqab until.. (dramatic music)…. I didn’t lift my niqab up on the side enough and sauce got all over it. I wiped it off and dabbed some water on it and tried another mouthful. This time it hit my face, fell down my khimar and into my lap. Alhamdulillah, I usually carry wipes in my purse so I used those to clean myself up and very cautiously ate the rest. A few more awards were given out and then the main course arrived… baked chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and carrots. I looked at my husband and said, “Take two.” The main course was a lot more successful.

The evening got awkward when someone got up to give a speech on behalf of a sister who was receiving an award, but couldn’t make it. She proceeded to read about elijah muhammad and saying may Allah bless him and grant him paradise, etc.. I’m pretty sure the people at my table noticed my head jerk up in surprise to hear that kinda crap. I wanted to leave at that point. I prefer not to sit around when people are talking nonsense. After that, dessert came out. I was so excited because I knew it would be ice cream, but that quickly changed when I realized it had strawberry sauce on it. I ate a little without getting it on my niqab, but uhh no thanx.

Then a brother gave a presentation about islam’s contributions to humanity. I found that part very interesting, as I learned about many aspects I didn’t know muslims were the first to contribute in. Then some more awards and then another awkward elijah muhammad moment, so I thought it was time to go because I was starting to get aggravated. People sometimes talk about that in some communities around here, but I didn’t expect it there given I knew most of the masjids participating in the event, and I know they aren’t upon that foolishness. But masha Allah, may Allah guide them to islam. Ameen.

I didn’t even get a look at the inside of my niqab yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s gonna need a gooooood washing after last night. Lol

Bye, bye from niqabi land.

I’m Back…

Today was the first time in a while that I’ve gone out in niqab. Since I lost my niqab like a week or so ago, I didn’t wanna go to the store to get another one because I would obviously have to go buy it.. without my niqab. I had to wait for my husband to go buy it for me. Alhamdulillah the brother who works in the store helped my husband pick out the one I wear. Anyway… so today I went to shoprite and walmart. I was anxious, but determined to wear my niqab into the stores. I just didn’t pay attention to people much, and when I felt myself getting nervous, I just talked to my daughter to distract myself. As we were getting out of the car to go into the grocery store, my daughter asked, “Why you don’t want people to see your face?” Lol.

Thuhr salat came in right as I found a parking spot in the walmart. Shaytan was whispering in my ear the whole ride there and my resolve was weakening, but after making du’a in salat and putting my trust in Allah, I flipped it down. Good day.