“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they’re too heavy to be broken.” Warren Buffet
Many of us have habits we wish we could let go of and habits we wish we could adopt, but we all know this isn’t easy. I find that I’ve formed many lazy habits concerning Islam. I try to start forming beneficial habits and I’ve found it very hard to keep them up. I like this quote because it’s so true. Once you realize you’ve formed a bad habit and try to fix it, sometimes it feels like it’s too late and feels impossible. But we know that we must change the problems we see in ourselves because Allah says in His Glorious Book:
“…Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves…” Surah Ar- Ra’d: 11
Just a reminder that change is possible, no matter the situation, with the help of Allah. Du’a, Du’a, Du’a. There’s no time like the present to begin to make these changes for the better. As brother Abu Muhammad Al Maghribi says:, “Death is promised, tomorrow is not.”
I have a confession. I haven’t been wearing my niqab the past few days. Once again, letting shaytan get inside my head and whisper his foolishness to me. First it was going to the doctor and letting shaytan convince me there would be no men there, so what’s the sense in wearing it. As if I knew who would be in the office. Stupid. Then to shop-rite and walmart for groceries and household items. My husband had a dinner with his co-workers, so I had to go with the kids by myself. Shaytan whispered, “It’s late. What if someone attacks you when you’re going back to your car with the kids? No one would even help you because you’re wearing niqab, etc.” So I allowed myself to be deceived and didn’t wear it into the stores. Once inside, of course I got less stares than when I wear niqab and shaytan was right there to remind me how much easier this was. how much more comfortable I felt walking through the store. Because I follow the opinion that niqab is recommended and not obligatory, I often find myself thinking, “I don’t have to wear it anyway.” I hate when this thought comes. Then I went to toys r’ us, same thoughts but I just felt so ashamed not to be wearing it. I felt like I was putting pleasing Allah to the side, and for what? To be accepted by people who really could care less about me? People who cannot do a thing for me on the Day of Judgment.
When I first started wearing niqab, I was sooo confident. No one could tell me anything. I don’t know where this lack of confidence and lack of strength has come from. It bothers me so much. Why do I keep fearing what these people will think of me, what they will possible do, when I know (or at least should know) my Lord protects me and it is His Pleasure I should be seeking. No one elses. Niqab is a part of me. I love my niqab, so why am I leaving it at home so casually these days. I won’t anymore. I would much rather be stared at, than feel like I’m not putting my trust in Allah. Than feel like I’m giving up pleasing Allah to please His creation. I have to remind myself Paradise is surrounded by hardships, while Hell- Fire is surrounded by things that seemed pleasing and easy. So back off shaytan… my niqab is getting worn insha Allah! Lol
The other night, while cooking, I burnt my hand on the pan. It made me remember something that happened a little over 2 years ago.
I had just moved into my new apartment at that time and soon realized the radiator cover in the kitchen, wasn’t actually covering any radiator. So the kitchen was freezinggggggg. I would put a pan with water inside the oven to keep the kitchen warm when I wasn’t cooking or when the kids weren’t in there. So one day when I was about to cook, I took the metal pan out of the oven, dumped the water out, and left it in the sink to cool off before I would wash it. I popped whatever I was cooking in the stove and forgot how hot the pan I took out of the oven would be. I wrapped all my fingers around it and grabbed the handle. I instantly dropped it, but I couldn’t escape the pain. It was so hot, I got a few blisters on my hand. But in the moment that I grabbed the pan, all I could think about was the Hell- Fire. “How can I do things deserving of Hell- Fire, as if I can handle the punishment, when just grabbing this pot for a moment has me in tears from the pain?” I kept thinking about it all night. The flames of Hell- Fire are much more severe and longer lasting. The heat and pain from the pot couldn’t even compare to the heat and pain of the Hell- Fire. Everytime I looked or tended to the blisters, I kept thinking about the Hell- Fire.
Many times I hear and see muslims do things that they know are wrong, as if Allah will not or cannot punish them. As if they can handle Allah’s punishment. And of course this a reminder to myself as well: Allah is Most Merciful and Forgiving, but He is also Severe in punishment.
So I hope this is a reminder to my fellow brothers and sisters to constantly repent to Allah and hope for His Love and Forgiveness, but fear His Wrath and Punishment.
In january insha Allah, I plan to stop watching tv. I watch a whole lot of tv being that I’m a housewife and have a whole lot of time on my hands. I’ve tried to cut back over the months for I don’t know how long, but just haven’t been able to. It’s easier to watch tv with 3 kids in the house, than read, or do other beneficial things. But I’ve been making du’a to be able to pull away from tv and now alhamdulillah, the shows I just had to record and watch immediately the next morning, don’t even interest me much anymore, so Allah is making it easy for me.
I don’t know if I’ll cut the cable off completely because I do still want to be able to watch sports and cooking shows, but I wonder can I avoid the temptation of turning to the other channels and watching shows I know I shouldn’t be.And I guess I can always still watch sports and whatnot on the internet. I don’t what I’ll do all day to fill my 2 year old’s time, who I have unfortunately let watch way too much tv throughout the day, when we’re not playing school, so he has his favorite shows already.
Has anyone stopped watching tv? If so, what do you do to fill your time?
Last night, I went to the local dollar store to get some books for the kids. My 11 month old fell asleep on the way there, so I knew my husband would be staying in the car with him because he absolutely detests waking up children. So when we got there, I got the older kids out the car and we got a cart and headed in. I was happy to see there weren’t many people there. I made my way to the toy aisle and got my first double take of the night. She looked, looked again, and then shook her head. I laughed and got some balloons and kept it moving. We got some toys and headed to the book aisle. Once there, I saw what I’m pretty sure was a gay guy and a girl, who laughed and decided to sing church songs. I just laughed. Those songs won’t sound so good on the Day of Judgment! They continued to sing these songs everytime they passed the aisle I was in. Whatever, ignorance. Then I went to get pans and this guy walked over to where I was and came so close, I started to freak out on the inside and pulled my kids closer, then he finally left. That was really weird. After getting a few more things, we headed to check-out, which would turn out to be the most awkward part of the shopping trip. I saw there were people not quite in line, but by the register, so I stood behind them, not wanting to cut them. One lady walked in the check-out aisle and the other just stared and stared and stared. I was looking at something my daughter wanted, but I could see her out the corner of my eye. I wanted to turn around and ask, “Uh, can I help you?” After about 15 seconds, I thought maybe I blocking something she wanted to get to, so I looked at her and then she finally stopped staring and went into the check-out aisle as well. I’m thinking, “Wow, if that wasn’t extra rude.” Then my son pushed the cart and it clipped the back of one of the ladies’ foot. I said I was sorry, but she gave me a look of sheer disgust. O well.
Bye, bye from niqabi land. I’m off to get my son’s blood drawn at the lab by my house, so I’m sure this will be a morning of people drawing in as if they can’t possibly hear through a piece of cloth, stares, and me shaking my head at how rude people are.
I just wanted to share this site. Alhamdulillah it has a large selection of free islamic ebooks. So far I’ve downloaded Riyadh us Saliheen, Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Fiqh us Sunnah, The Book of Eman and books on wudu, children, the personality of a muslim, aids for memorizing the Qur’an, and many others. Insha Allah, I hope you guys and gals can benefit from it as well.